Hello, everyone! I'm part of the study-abroad support team here.
I first went abroad on my own at 17, as a Japanese teenager. The destination was Australia, where I spent a full year at a local high school.
Even now I look back and think, "Seventeen, and I just went off by myself!" It still makes me laugh.
But back then, I had very little to lean on overseas. I couldn't speak English properly. I didn't know my way around. And this was not an era when you could look anything up on a smartphone.
And as I was a minor, a major support in my life there was the homestay.
What's more, I lived with no fewer than six host families in that one year. Spending a few weeks or months with a single family is an intense experience in itself. I did it six times.
- A farming family.
- A teacher's household.
- A family who ran a supermarket.
Their routines, meals, rules and personalities really did vary from one to the next.
Some families were wonderful. Some, honestly, I found a bit of a struggle.
But looking back now, I think that life in every one of those homes, taken all together, was what studying abroad meant for me.
So, drawing on this slightly unusual experience, I'd like to take the question "What is homestay really like?" and talk honestly about both the good parts and the hard ones.
First, the short version
If I had to sum up the appeal of homestay in one line, it would be this: you get inside the everyday life of an ordinary household, a side of a country that tourists don't see.
There is breakfast time. There are parents heading off to work and children coming home from school. There are dinners in front of the television and weekend trips to the shops. It is that country's ordinary way of living.
But joining a household also means fitting in with how it runs. That is the greatest appeal of homestay and, at the same time, its greatest difficulty.
Drawing on my own experience, the research and how homestay works today, the three advantages that stand out are these:
- ① It is easy to get support with meals, daily life and safety
- ② You can experience local life and culture every day
- ③ With a good match, you can gain "another family overseas"
On the other hand, three things tend to make it hard:
- ① Each household's own rules
- ② The distance to school and where the house is
- ③ Because it is about people, there is inevitably the question of whether personalities click
Let's take them one at a time.
① Advantage: Even overseas, you have a "home to go back to"
At 17, this meant a great deal to me.
School finishes. You take the train or bus. You go home. And someone asks, "How was your day?" There is dinner. There is a place to sleep at night. If anything goes wrong, there is an adult you can talk to.
In an unfamiliar country, that gave me far more peace of mind than I'd have guessed.
Research on homestay has described a host household as more than somewhere to stay: it can become a base for a student's language and cultural learning. In a small-scale study of eight student teachers who studied abroad in Peru, the homestay experience was reported to be linked with greater confidence in their language skills and a deeper understanding of other cultures.
On a practical level, too, homestay can lighten the load of buying groceries, thinking up dinner every night, cooking, and running a home in a place you don't know.
At ILSC Australia today, for example, the basic Half Board plan includes breakfast and dinner, and the host family prepares the dinner. Rooms come with a bed, a desk, a chair, storage and so on. ILSC Sydney's published prices also put homestay with breakfast and dinner at a lower weekly rate than self-catered student residences.
Meals, a place to live and a local person to turn to, all in one package: for anyone living abroad for the first time, that makes homestay a very reassuring option.
② Advantage: I got to experience six different versions of "Australian life"
This is one of the biggest things homestay gave me. The families I lived with differed enormously.
One family were farmers, raising beef cattle on a large property.
The next household was a teacher's, and I had plenty of chances to talk about school and education.
Another family owned a supermarket, so I saw what a family business looks like and how it connects with the local community.
If I had spent that year in a hotel, I don't think I would have made nearly as many discoveries of the "So this is how Australians live" kind.
What mattered most was discovering that there is no single type of "Australian". Different habits, different approaches to education, different food, different ways of thinking. Even in the same country, households can differ this much. It was a huge cross-cultural experience.
Homestay research also suggests that everyday exchanges at home can be more than a chance to use a foreign language: they can become a setting for understanding cultural differences and building the ability to deal with them.
In a textbook, it all comes down to a single phrase: "Australian culture". But once you actually live there, culture turns out to vary from person to person and from house to house. Homestay lets you learn that first-hand.
③ Advantage: With a good match, you really do gain "another family"
Not all six households were "the best!" But some of them were places where I found myself wishing I could stay for ever.
I'd come in from school and feel I was being welcomed home. We ate together. I heard about their family. I told them about my day. We went out at weekends. I talked about the happy things and the slightly unpleasant ones.
Little by little, the people who started out as "my homestay family" became something like "my family overseas".
There is an interesting finding here too. In a study of American students who did an eight-week homestay, not all of them ended up with a "family" relationship with their hosts. Some students said it felt like family, while others described the relationship as friends, as guest and host, or as lodger and landlord.
In other words, doing a homestay does not automatically give you a second family. That is why it is such a joy to find a household that really suits you.
We're not related by blood. We grew up in different countries. We speak different languages. And yet, somewhere in the world, there are people I want to see again. I came away with a family like that.
It is one of the real treasures that studying abroad can give you.
④ Disadvantage: Having to fit in with "This is just how we do things here"
Now for the more down-to-earth side of things. A homestay is not a hotel. Every household has its own rules.
In one house I lived in, breakfast was always cereal.
One morning I fancied scrambled eggs and started cooking them, and was told, more or less, "We don't cook that sort of thing at breakfast here."
In Japan, a breakfast of rice, eggs and miso soup is perfectly normal. But in that house, morning meant cereal. That was "normal".
In another house, there was a fairly strict rule that you went to your bedroom at 9 p.m. Even at 17, I remember thinking, "But it's only nine o'clock..." (I have to laugh.)
Still, as long as you are living in someone's home, you basically follow their rules. That is still true of homestay today. On top of that, shower times, laundry, meals and kitchen use all have their own rules in each household.
What you take as normal is not what someone else's household takes as normal. Whether you can accept that is one factor in how much you enjoy homestay.
⑤ Disadvantage: A long way from school is more inconvenient than you'd think
Some of the homes I lived in were quite a long way from school. They were surrounded by nature, and the families were lovely.
But after school, a friend would say, "Let's go into town! Meet at such-and-such at this time!" and I would be the only one who had to work out how to get home. I couldn't even have made the meeting time in the first place. In the end, I couldn't spend time with my friends after school.
As a high school student, I found that a fairly big drawback.
When people think about homestay, they tend to ask only whether the family will be nice. In practice, the distance from the house to school is also very important.
⑥ Disadvantage: And then, inevitably, there is the question of whether you click
This is the hardest part. However carefully a family has been screened, and however good their reputation, they may not suit you.
- A family that talks a lot.
- A quiet family.
- A household with lots of children.
- A couple on their own.
- A family who want to spend weekends together.
- A household that says, "Do whatever you like."
Which is best depends on the person.
There were times when I thought, "I'm not sure this family is right for me..." or "I don't think this host sister likes me very much..."
Nobody is at fault. People are people, and sometimes they just don't click.
The homestay research I mentioned earlier also found cases where the "family-like relationship" students had imagined before leaving did not match the relationship they actually had with their hosts.
So it matters, too, not to get carried away expecting that homestay will always mean a warm second family.
You might well land in a household that simply "cooks your meals and chats a little". That is fine, too. If it lets you concentrate on your studies, that is more than good enough.
Homestay comes in many forms.
⑦ A surprising fact: Homestay doesn't always mean the biggest gains in English
People often assume that you will definitely improve your English more in homestay than in a student residence.
But when the research is taken together, there is no strong evidence that homestay is always better for language learning. A student residence can also be a good language-learning environment, if you have close contact with local and international students.
So is homestay pointless? Of course not.
What matters is less where you live than who you spend time with there, and how much.
If you go back to your homestay and stay in your room all the time, barely speaking even at dinner, you won't be making the most of what homestay offers.
If you spend as much time as you can in shared spaces, and take the initiative by talking to your hosts, watching TV with them or helping with small chores, you will have more chances to talk, and the impression you make on your hosts will probably change too.
I think it is much more realistic to see homestay not as a place that hands you an English-speaking environment, but as a place where you get the chance to step into one yourself.
⑧ Having lived with six families, here is who I think can enjoy homestay
Based on all of this, here is my own idea of who gets on well with homestay.
① People who find differences interesting, not just a nuisance
Breakfast is different. Shower times are different. The way the family spends its time is different. Instead of stopping at "In Japan it'd be like this!", they can think, "Oh, so this is how they do it here."
② People who feel more secure with someone around than on their own
Someone is there when you get home from school. You sit around the dinner table. You talk about your day. If that kind of life appeals to you, homestay is a good fit.
③ People who would rather experience local family life than have total freedom
If you want to stay out until all hours or cook whatever you like whenever you like, a student residence or an apartment may suit you better.
On the other hand, if you think, "Since I'm going abroad anyway, I'd love to live with a local family," homestay is quite an attractive option.
⑨ What I find reassuring about ILSC's homestay
ILSC Sydney, which we currently introduce students to, also offers homestay.
Precisely because I lived with six families myself, there are parts of ILSC's current system that make me think, "If only something like this had been laid out so clearly back then."
First, how a family is checked before becoming a host.
ILSC publishes how it vets families who apply:
- A phone call to find out about the household and its lifestyle.
- A home visit by a member of staff.
After that, it checks references and runs a criminal record check before registering the family as a host.
Of course, none of this can guarantee that personalities will match. But you aren't heading to a house nobody knows anything about. The school has looked into the household and then introduced it to you, and that is reassuring.
ILSC Sydney's official information also describes homestay as a way to "experience cultural and language immersion in a supportive living environment".
⑩ It also matters that "What if it doesn't work out?" has an answer from the start
I lived with six host families, so when it comes to choosing a homestay, I don't think it is only a matter of landing the best family. Having somewhere to turn when it doesn't work out is very important too.
ILSC reviews each request for a homestay change individually, and you can apply to change or cancel online. For matters of safety, health or urgency, a dedicated emergency contact is available. Students also get SONDER, a 24-hour support service available in more than 100 languages.
Of course, you can't swap families tomorrow just because you don't quite get on. Change fees may apply.
But it is not true that you simply have to put up with it alone when things get hard. For anyone trying homestay for the first time, I think that is an important point.
⑪ And in the end, even a "dud" homestay makes a good story later
When I think back on my time abroad, it isn't only the memories of the "best" families that remain.
- Getting told off at breakfast and forcing down flavourless cereal.
- Using the shower at the wrong time and being caught in my birthday suit.
- Living so far from school that I took the bus in the wrong direction and was late.
- Struggling to get rid of a giant cockroach with a host mother who was squeamish about bugs, and screaming the place down.
Even the things that made me think "I've had enough!" at the time have all become funny memories, decades later.
If anything, stories like "The rules in that house were seriously strict!" tend to go down well when I'm with friends.
And now I realise that was part of experiencing another culture too.
I thought, "That would never happen in Japan." To them, it was, "But it's normal in our house, isn't it?" That gap was something I could only have discovered by going abroad.
Summing up: Homestay is living abroad, hits and misses included
In this column I set out to answer one question: what is homestay really like?
What I took away from living with six households is that homestay does have its good points.
- You get support with meals and daily life.
- You come into contact with another culture every day.
- You have chances to use English.
And with luck, you may meet another family you could stay in touch with for life.
But you will have less freedom. Each household has its own rules. The trip to school can take a while. And above all, because it is about people, personalities sometimes won't click.
Still, I think that's fine. Even the things that don't go to plan are part of studying abroad.
At first, you think, "Oh no!" But years from now, you may be telling someone about it with a laugh.
Homestay isn't about renting a room overseas. It is about being allowed a little way into someone's everyday life. Put that way, I think it is more than worth trying once, even if it is a bit inconvenient.
The freedom of a student residence has its appeal. So does the warmth of homestay. Neither is the "right" answer.
If you want to know how people in another country really live, if going abroad alone feels a little daunting, or if you would like to use English within a family as well as in class, then homestay is very much an option for you.
References
- Back, M., Joseph, R., McCormick, A. & Picorelli, H.（2022）「Homestays as a resource for preservice teachers studying abroad」. Teaching and Teacher Education, 119, 103849. Link
- Rodriguez, S. R. & Chornet-Roses, D.（2014）「How 'Family' is your host family?: An examination of student–host relationships during study abroad」. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 39, 164–174. Link
- Rivers, W. P.（1998）「Is being there enough? The effects of homestay placements on language gain during study abroad」. Foreign Language Annals, 31, 492–500. Link
- Magnan, S. S. & Back, M.（2007）「Social interaction and linguistic gain during study abroad」. Foreign Language Annals, 40, 43–61. Link
- ILSC「Homestay Australia」. Link
- ILSC「Become a Homestay」. Link
- ILSC「Destinations: Sydney」. Link
- ILSC「Price List: Sydney」. Link